A new look at old traditions
Often the word “traditions” invoke the idea of an out-dated, tedious, and complex custom designed for old people who have the time to follow them. Actually traditions are just the opposite. Traditions can be beautiful, and a very positive way to create a strong bond within a family, a community or a group. Traditions are like your language, you identify yourself with it, express yourself through it, around it, most importantly, you feel an instant bond with people who speak the same language. At a family level, traditions reflect what your family considers valuable.
Every family, no matter where they are from, where they live today, and how they are structured, has some identifying traditions that make them unique. However, one of the victims of any migration is uprooting of traditions that have been a part of the family for a very long time – often centuries in a culture like India. Busy lifestyle can take a toll on following any tradition but it is the best way to keep a bond alive.
Why are traditions important?
Besides creating a bond and a beautiful memory, traditions play a special role in looking beyond ourselves. Interestingly, a nurtured tradition has a way to nurture your soul. So let us see how traditions can help us reconnect with our family, community, and the past.
Many traditions are around holiday time and they often involve a certain food preparation, or a certain custom.
Looking to pass on some tradition to your children?
Here are some suggestions:
Search for a tradition:
Most families have one. Find out, if you do not know already, which traditions are in your family. You may find this to be an interesting search in itself as you will see how it helps you connect with the older generation.
Find out why:
Every tradition has roots and usually begins with a story. Try to find out what was the reason the tradition was started in the first place. If the tradition you enjoyed as a child has religious roots, try to find out the story behind it and share with your children. Finding out why a certain tradition has become part of your family may help you in considering if it is worth passing on to your children.
Observance:
Learn the details of what exactly is involved, and when. Traditions, by definition is something that occurs at a regular frequency. No matter how beautiful a tradition, if you do not observe it with regularity, it will lose its significance. Make sure you follow the tradition you pick with some discipline. Although obvious, this is the hardest part of keeping a tradition in a busy family life.
Make it enjoyable:
One of the benefits when you transplant any tradition is that you get a chance to reevaluate. See if this tradition is truly bringing any joy to you and your family. Any boring tradition may not last for too long.
Get children involved:
Making kids follow a tradition can be fun if you get them involved in whatever capacity that they can. For example, if the tradition involves a pooja ceremony, then make sure that the kids are helping you decorate or take part in the aarti, or play a musical instrument during the prayer time.
If the tradition involves food – as many of them do- see if you can get your kids involved in cooking. Not only it will be a fun family activity but it will also provide time together to talk about the tradition itself – a great way to introduce other things around the culture, religion or tradition.
Improvise:
When you are in a different culture, improvising becomes the key. Some traditions may not translate well in another culture but you can always improvise to fit your family’s current needs and circumstances. For example, as a kid I remember that every Sunday morning our family gathered around the dining table –with a plate that carried a small diya and incense for a prayer time. Each family member, including young kids, offered a prayer and the last prayer was sung together as a family. Living in America, I have changed this tradition from every Sunday to every birthday in the family.
Get others involved:
If possible, consider making it open to the larger group. Extended families, friends, community whatever works. Instead of making it a family event, for example, invite your friends from other cultures. Share with others. This may help children feel proud of the tradition. For example, while celebrating Diwali, we always included our non-Indian friends and the parents of our children’s friends.
Make your own:
Keep in mind that traditions are created at some time or the other so if you find that your family does not have any particular tradition that is practical for you to keep in your new surrounding, try to create a new one for your family. A certain food as a new year celebration, a certain temple that you visit on every birthday, a pooja that you perform on Thanksgiving day, time that you volunteer as a family during Christmas. Be creative. Traditions do not have to be religious. Whatever you pick, will become a great memory for your next generation.
Mind the frequency:
Although it is not important how often the traditional activity occurs, anything less than once a year will not help a child remember it well enough. The frequency can be daily, (such as offering food to the deity every day before eating dinner) to every week or once a year. Usually any tradition around holiday time is observed with gusto and it is manageable in your busy life.
So pick a tradition and go with it. Most importantly, have fun.
